Have you ever had one individual in your life who is just so incredibly unpleasant to deal with that it makes you almost physically ill? One with whom you have no choice but to work from time to time?
I do. And I have to say that it makes the prospect of going to work on a daily basis nearly unbearable recently, since I’ve been having to deal with this person for the past few weeks.
Today, things came to a head. I came in this morning to a nasty, ugly email from this person. Someone had very obviously gotten off to a rocky start today because the person has been insulting, rude and downright belligerent all day. I have had problems with this person off and on for years, but today was a day unlike any other. I was actually flabbergasted by their lack of professionality. I don’t know about you, but that makes the workplace a hostile environment for me.
I cannot, for the life of me, seem to convince this person that the portion of a specific process that is currently broken is actually their problem. I have proven that the process works in any number of different examples and environments and I am unable to fix the problem myself as the answer lies with a server over which I have no control. However, it seems to be impossible to convince this person to stop attacking my code and to start looking in their own backyard for the solution. I had a friendlier party in on the discussion last night, one who was willing to take my suggestions to heart as to how to fix the problem, but that person was stonewalled today by the Belligerent One.
For the love of pumpkins, people, STOP YELLING AT ME! Especially don’t decide to ride me and get ugly about everything else that you can find that might possibly be my problem because you are angry that this one isn’t fixed. The problem isn’t mine, it’s yours. I have done everything that I can to lead you in the right direction to find the solution, but I can only lead the horse to water; I cannot make it drink. And if you won’t drink, at least put your head in the water, take three deep breaths and have someone tell me when it’s over.
Sorry, that was mean. But it really is taking every ounce of my self-restraint not to tell this person to take a flying leap. People need to learn how to relax a little bit. Including myself.
I can totally understand where you are coming from! I have had to deal with someone like that on a daily basis on the job at one time. Thankfully, after several months she quite, I guess she figured out that I would not! lol.
I am so sorry you having to deal with this and I really truly hope that it gets better for you!
Hi Jenna! Oh Yes! I know EXACTLY how you feel! 😛 Poor sweetie has TWO of those people…at his office..and well we’ve decided it’s just not worth the fighting, the physical illness anymore..so we are going to move on to greener pastures with a new job…:) Seems that these people don’t realize they are that way…nor do others around them. Or either they are terrified of saying something about it..as they might lose their jobs. *sigh* You just have to hope that these people never run into someone like them…..as hard as it is to secretly wish such a thing would happen! LOLOL
Take some time out..bubble bath, chocolate, stitching or a snuggle with someone you love…you’ll feel better!
*BIG HUGS*
X Stitch X
I liked this line: “For the love of pumpkins” – you made me chuckle!
Seriously, some people just need to stop and think about how they are treating others.With this kind of approach they are not going to get too far with too many people, are they?
Take care…
Crikey, what a PITA!! Is there anyone else you can talk to and prove your point to that can tell this person to shove their complaining where the sun don’t shine? His/her manager or something?
I hope things get sorted out and you’re able to get some peace at work!
Unfortunately, Jenna, I do know exactly the feeling you describe. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with this person on a regular basis. I hope this issue is resolved soon!!
Oh yeah, I think we’ve all worked with one of “those” people … vile despicable creatures that they are! One of the reasons I was quite happy to move to Aussie 3 years ago, to get away from the bitchiness and power struggles in the Auckland office … it’s so peaceful over here (I just tune out to all the bitching and moaning). One day karma will come and bite them in the bum, that’s for sure! Ever tried making a voodoo doll? … just kidding! ;P
Oh, Anne, what a ‘great idea’, okay, Jenna why not a small cross stitch you put above the computer saying you do practise voodoo?
i did work for one of htese guys he was my manager. I went into his office closed the door and told him his behaviour was inapropiate, when I left he was shaking, and I was so controlled. That year he didn’t go to the Christmas party. Another manager told the gathering what had transpired. I had never discussed it with anyone. Even Ian was surprised. My staff, thrilled, now they knew why he was being more professional.
(hug)
Jenna my first boss was just as you describe.
To some people it seems to be extremely difficult to admit that they actually can make mistakes *gasp* like any other person… 😐
I am with you, my friend. I have been in a very similar situation but fortunately don’t have to deal with that person daily.(and hopefully, hopefully, she should soon stop bugging me, as she was at the uni where I taught last year). It really makes life more difficult and makes one physically sick!! I really, really hope you manage to square things up with that SOAB. Personally I’m about to write to the head of department to point out her lack of professionalism and faults. I don’t want her to make other new teachers feel as miserable and insulted, and I’m afraid she might lie about me as well.
I hope that issue get sorted out soon for you! (((hugs)))
That sucks Jenna. I’ll practise my voodoo on your coworker. I have someone here who yells at me too. It’s the first time in my 18 year working career that I’ve met someone like this and I HATE IT! ((Hugs))
Sorry, sweetie, but like the Cathy above, the “for the love of pumpkins” line made me smile. Down with stupid people! I hope that the person who was able to listen to your explanation without acting like a belligerent jerk will change their mind and help you out a bit, maybe tell the other person to take a long, calming walk…off a short pier!
Perhaps it’s time to go over the person’s head? I know. Sometimes it makes it worse, but sometimes it can help…
{{{{{{Jenna}}}}}}
Have courage.
Isn’t there someone higher-up (do you all work for the same boss? If not, is there a common higher boss?) with whom you can all meet and discuss? I would think if you went to the higher-up boss and told them you’re all at a stalemate, could they somehow act as mediator?
Be careful, and save all emails and document EVERYTHING (dates/times, etc). You might also want to have a friendly chat with the other person’s boss (not a tattle-tale, but to let them know what’s going on). A mention that this is getting nasty and bordering on the ‘H word’ (harrassment) should definitely get their attention!
Good luck with this. You’d really think that professionals would act professionally, but the job doesn’t necessarily imply maturity.
Uh oh, Jenna! You need to find some way to get out of that situation! I had a coworker who also made my work day a nightmare. It got so bad that I was afraid to use the toilet for fear she’d corner me in there. Turned out she had a mental problem and eventually stopped working, but not before she’d turned my job into a total nightmare.
Be careful, and save all emails and document EVERYTHING
I’ve been 20 years in the business, 10 of those at IBM. I agree with the point about saving everything and creating a paper trail documenting how you’ve done everything possible to help this person even though the real problem is beyond your control.
Next step is to make sure your manager is informed of all you’ve done and that you think anything further would be cutting into your own duties. Managers are notoriously prickly about other managers and their people intruding on their turf and ordering their people to do things.
Let the managers fight it out ;->