What Have I Been Doing?

Posted on July 15, 2007 by Jenna Magee

Not stitching, that’s for sure. I haven’t picked up a needle in over a week. Oh wait, that’s a lie. I did put in a very few stitches while at the hospital on Friday.

So, let’s see. I last posted on Wednesday.

Thursday: Bought a sailboat. Sailed said sailboat with the dealer to get a feel for what it can do. Towed said sailboat home. Mangled the swim ladder while backing it down the driveway in the dark because the ladder, which is not supposed to fall down, fell down from the up position and we backed over it, bending it backwards and wrenching it and its brackets sideways. Gouged the driveway a bit, too, but meh, who cares? It’s all fixable and at least we got our first owie to the boat over and done with quickly. Oh yeah, got a really bad sunburn on a few sections of my back that I apparently wasn’t reaching every time I reapplied the sunblock spray. Doh!

Friday: Spent the day at the hospital. The Upper GI with Small Bowel Study that normally takes 1 to 3 hours took me 7 HOURS! I’m not going into details, in case others who read my blog happen to have a need to go through this procecure in the future. Let’s just say that some mistakes were made by the radiologist, I think, and it turns out that my large bowel (large intestines; colon) is longer than most people’s. As such, my appendix actually resides in the middle of my lower abdomen, instead of on the right. Good to know in case of appendicitis pain. Bad when the radiologist keeps looking in the wrong spot for my appendix and the junction between my small and large bowel. For hours upon hours. Until one of the chief radiologists is called in out of sheer desperation (and the fact that it was 4:45 PM on a Friday and the staff wanted to get out of there).

My abdominal muscles feel like they have served as someone’s punching bag. Oh wait, they have! My back hurt like … (insert appropriate simile here) due to laying around in rough cotton hospital gowns on hard metal tables much of the day. Not nice for bad sunburn from day before. My back, neck and shoulder muscles went into spasm from above described laying around. I was unable to stitch during most of my waiting time because I was subjected to laying in different positions in order to try to get the barium to move through my system.

[note] For future reference, my digestive tract doesn’t like barium. [end note]

Saturday: Towed the sailboat over to the house of friends who live on the water. Went to their community’s boat ramp, rigged the boat and tried to launch the boat. Were unable to launch the boat due to poorly engineered boat ramp (it goes down a foot or two, then levels out) and low tide in shallow area. Waited around for an hour or so on the community beach for tide to start coming in. Gave up for a bit, went back to their house, ordered and consumed dinner. Went back to boat ramp once tide had come in and given us a foot or so more water to work with. Finally floated the boat off of the trailer and went motoring and sailing for an hour or so. Got boat back onto trailer, towed to friends’ house and unrigged in the dark. At this point, I had developed a migraine and the bugs were attacking the easily-seen white person (me) with a hunger, so I went inside and left the boys (which ended up pretty much being Terry by himself) to de-rig the boat. Sorry guys! Towed the boat home. Backed it up the driveway without incident (whew!). I immediately took a Maxalt and went to bed.

Sunday: Woke up very late with shoulder muscles in spasm and a bit of a headache. Ate. Watched some TV. Went upstairs to work on OSL accounting and entered a bunch of new inventory into the store. Check it out! Writing this blog entry, then going to bed.

We’re back to work tomorrow and Tuesday, then leaving as early as we can manage to drag ourselves out of bed Wednesday morning to head to Canada. We’re most likely splitting to drive into two days, stopping somewhere in Maine (perhaps around the Old Orchard Beach area) for the night, then continuing on to Saint John Thursday morning. I should get lots of stitching done in the car. At least, I had better, because I have things to do! 🙂

Posted in Life in General | 9 Comments

So Much, So Much…

Posted on July 11, 2007 by Jenna Magee

I have way too much going on right now. It’s very overwhelming.

The good news? After our sailing expedition the other weekend, we had so much fun that we decided to buy a boat. We go to the dealer tomorrow to sail it and potentially take it home with us. I can’t wait to be able to go out onto the Chesapeake Bay and escape all of the noise, hassle and stress for a weekend. Ahhhhhhhh… won’t that be nice? In the meantime, I still need to get a life vest for Phoebe (yes, they make them for dogs) and make sure that we have all of our ducks in a row before we leave next Wednesday morning for Canada for a week. For those who have asked, we are going to be driving up to Saint John, New Brunswick for the Saturday nuptials of Terry’s dad. It’s the same day as Christine V‘s wedding. 🙂

In other news, there are several stories running concurrently. I have managed to get back onto my feet on the work front and even though I am still bored and dissatisfied with my job, I am getting a lot accomplished. So far, this week, I have been juggling a minimum of two different projects during the day, but often more. That’s more like my normal self, but it is exhausting.

I saw a gastroenterologist on Friday morning regarding my chronic IBS and some stomach pains that I’ve had recently. As a result, a small barrage of tests have been ordered. Yesterday, I had an abdominal ultrasound of all of the organs floating around in my midsection. I also stopped in and had blood taken for the blood tests that he ordered. Friday morning I will be having an upper GI with small bowel study. This is where I get to drink some thick liquid that I’m just praying isn’t too nasty and they chase it through my digestive tract. At least, that’s what I think it is. If you have unpleasant stories about a similar procedure, please don’t share them with me. I am trying to stay positive about it, so I only want to hear if you have a story where it was much easier than you thought it would be. Or something along those lines. I’ll go back to see him in late August (I’m on vacation, then he is) for the follow-up to see what the results of all of the tess show and see if there is a need for him to do a colonoscopy.

On the psychological front, I have been feeling a little bit down lately but I seem to be leveling out. Even if that level is a little lower than my normal, chipper self. My psychiatrist gave me an official diagnosis of Bipolar II on Friday. I convinced him to delay any change in medication for a month, since we’re going away and I didn’t want to be away on vacation in the middle of a med. change. I see him again in August and will take up the argument discussion again at that time. I’m trying to take this time to do my homework about bipolar disorder to see if I agree with his diagnosis, what treatment alternatives are available and how I can help to manage my highs and lows.

I have to say that I am very anxious about this diagnosis, even though I got a hint of it from Dr. Steve weeks before. Several people have advised me to get a second opinion, but getting in with a new psychiatrist around here takes a good bit of time. Terry and I have had some in-depth discussions about it. From what I’ve read of the standard symptoms and descriptions of the four possible levels of bipolar disorder, I happen to agree that I fit into that category. It’s the treatments that I’m concerned about. Many of the available drugs seem to be concerned about treating the manic symptoms where I’m more worried about the depression symptoms. I’ve only ever had two episodes that seem to qualify as hypomanic (less than full mania and not really disruptive to my life), so I’m much less concerned with those at the moment. It’s the depressive episodes that I would prefer to get under control. I really don’t like the side effects associated with many of the medications, either. I looked at the one the psychiatrist wants to put me on (Abilify) and I don’t know that I’m willing to risk the side effects. One of the potential serious side effects is tardive dyskinesia, which may be irreversible. As an artist (whether I am one professionally or not, I still consider myself to be one at heart), I cannot afford to have uncontrollable twitching. Especially if it’s permanent.

Can I just say here and now that I SERIOUSLY object to the fact that he wants to put me on a drug that is classified as an antipsychotic? I am not psychotic! I’m railing against the added stigma of being diagnosed as being bipolar (as if being depressed wasn’t enough stigma), now I’m a psycho? Sheesh. I know that I’m probably blowing it out of proportion, but I’m in a very uncomfortable place right now. So far, I like to think that I’ve really tried to roll with the punches, trying different medications, being very open and honest in therapy, but I’m hitting a bit of a brick wall on this one.

And so, with that weighing heavily on my mind, I go to see Dr. Steve tonight. I plan on focusing the discussion on this new diagnosis, what it truly means and what non-medicinal treatment options are available to me. I found a pretty good site (named bipolar.com, go figure) that explained that episodes can often be triggered by things like stress. Which really helped to explain what sent me on this journey in the first place (when my grandfather died) and has continued to affect me (stress at work). They have a mood tracker that I printed out and have been filling out every day so far that is supposed to help you recognize your triggers. I think that this could be really helpful. And suddenly, the investment in a boat seems even more sound than before. 😉

Terry has agreed to go in with me for the August appointment with the psychiatrist so that I have a little extra help. I think I’m going to ask Dr. Steve to include him in tonight’s session, as well. I want both of us to really be on the same page so that Terry can help me make informed decisions about my treatment. Besides, I swear he knows me better than I know myself, so it’s good to have another person describing my behaviors, even if he doesn’t know how I’m feeling inside.

Right now, I’m just trying to take life one day at a time. Sometimes, one hour at a time. Whatever it takes.

Posted in Journey to Self-Discovery, Life in General | 16 Comments

A Stitchy Finish!

Posted on July 7, 2007 by Jenna Magee

It’s official, I finished Summer Dragon on Christine‘s RR fabric. I completed the cross stitches yesterday and the backstitching today. And oh boy, was there a LOT of backstitching on the piece! Compared to the Spring Dragon, which didn’t have much, this one was a huge change. It took me several hours to do all of it. But hey, it’s done, and just a little bit behind schedule. It looks like all of us were running a bit late this round, so I don’t feel so bad. It’s packed up and ready to go into the mail on Monday morning.

This is a pretty one. Very sparkly and fussy with all of the leaves and vines:



Also, I can share another finish from a week or two ago. I made up another one of those lovely little hardanger suncatchers in shades of blue and turquoise, just for my buddy Anne. I wanted her to have a little something that she could hang up, no matter where she’s staying, so that she would have a little piece of “home” with her. I thought it would be nice and portable for her housesitting situation.



I’ve started another project now, but it’s a secret. It has multiple parts, but I’m going to count each one as a finish (and rightfully so, I think). I’m more than halfway through one of them already, having started it Thursday night to catch a break from dragon stitching. 🙂 It will probably take me another week or more to complete the stitching on all four of the pieces and then do the finishing. I have a feeling that this is going to take me up through when we leave for Canada. In the meantime, I signed up for a cyberclass through The Victoria Sampler that started on the 5th. I haven’t even taken the fabric out of the kit and ironed it yet, so I need to get moving!

Posted in Stitching | 27 Comments

July Stitching Goals

Posted on July 3, 2007 by Jenna Magee
  • Finish Summer Dragon and send to Leslie
  • Finish Just Nan – Barnabee’s Quest (?)
  • Work on The Sweetheart Tree – Pretty Posies
  • Work on Alma Lynne – Computer Wizard
  • Work on Dimensions – Bonsai and Buddha
Posted in Stitching | 3 Comments

June Stitching Goals in Review

Posted on July 3, 2007 by Jenna Magee
  • :mrgreen: Stitch model and send back
  • 🙁 Stitch Summer Dragon and send out
  • 🙁 Finish Just Nan – Barnabee’s Quest
  • 🙁 Work on Alma Lynne – Computer Wizard
  • 🙁 Work on Dimensions – Bonsai and Buddha
  • :mrgreen: Start The Sweetheart Tree – Pretty Posies

I may have failed miserably at meeting my goals, but I did a lot of other things this month, as well. And these are more like guidelines anyway (unintentional Pirates of the Caribbean reference there). 😛

Posted in Stitching | 2 Comments

New Releases from Periphaeria Designs

Posted on July 1, 2007 by Jenna Magee

Take a look at the brand new July releases from Periphaeria Designs:



All three are available in standard printed and downloadable formats from One Star’s Light, as always! 🙂

Posted in Shop Talk | 2 Comments

SBQ: Next!

Posted on June 28, 2007 by Jenna Magee

This SBQ was suggested by Kathryn and is:

When you start a new work do you look for something small, do you look for another huge project or do you consider your UFOs?

Everything I do tends to be on the small size, since I don’t have a lot of stitching time. I still lust after BAPs, but I don’t try them very often, as I’ve only completed one in my lifetime. 😆 Yes, I do consider UFOs or other WIPs that haven’t received stitching time in a while. I also give in to my craving for newer designs, though. It can be tough to force yourself to stitch on “older” pieces and designs with a world of new projects at your door. It’s been even harder for me as I’m exposed to more and more designers and distributors for OSL. Temptation is alive and well. 😉

Posted in Stitching Blogger's Question | 5 Comments

SBQ: WIP Storage

Posted on June 28, 2007 by Jenna Magee

This SBQ was suggested by Jennifer and is:

How do you store your WIPs and other projects that you have kitted up?

Honestly, I have no set storage mechanism. Older WIPs/UFOs are in the closet in my craft room or in pillowcases in the corner of my family room or in a tote bag in my craft room, etc. The newer stuff is in a basket in the stitching corner of my family room, in my DMC needlework tote and mesh bags. No rhyme, reason or system. I’m lucky if I can find the WIPs/UFOs that I want to stitch on when I want to stitch on them. 🙂

Posted in Stitching Blogger's Question | Leave a comment

Rough Visit, Part 2

Posted on June 27, 2007 by Jenna Magee

Yes, I’m back for more. By the way, did I happen to mention that I haven’t menstruated in 3 months? You know, just to add a little interest to the mix. No worries, I’m pretty sure it has to do with the pill that I switched to, since I haven’t had a period since I started on this new one (Yaz). I called the gynecologist and they said that it’s normal with this pill, but it sure doesn’t help my anxiety level to have that little irregularity hanging over my head. 😆 I’ll just continue buying a pregnancy test every month until everything comes back into balance, I guess.

In other news, Dr. Steve really doesn’t want me to start school in August. I understand his reasoning and I agree with him, but I’m so bored and restless right now that I’m chomping at the bit. I’m hoping that if I get back into stitching more regularly, some of the restlessness will be alleviated. Hopefully. I’m also hoping to start school in October or November. The problem is that something has to give somewhere in order for me to have the time to devote to school. The Art Institute Online says to plan on spending 15-20 hours a week per class and you have to log in at least 4 days a week and provide meaningful interaction. Dr. Steve’s concern (rightly so) is that, with working full time and keeping up with One Star’s Light, I can’t manage to get to bed and get enough sleep every night as it is. So, where exactly am I going to come up with another 20 hours a week for my coursework? Touché.

I had a good talk with Terry last the other night. I had a sudden crying jag as I laid down to go to sleep that just wouldn’t stop. My throat was swelling up, so I had to sit up so that I could breathe and swallow better. Poor Terry, he has to put up with so much sometimes and yet, never a complaint from him. I am truly blessed with such caring and kind family and friends. Anyway, we talked about how much I hate work right now. He thinks that it’s all symptomatic of my being so off-balance right now because he says that he’s seen how excited I can get about my work and what great work I do. He finds it hard to believe that I really dislike my job so much, but I am fairly overloaded. You see, I don’t know if you remember, but I’ve been trying to get out of my current position for several years now. Problem is, I do my job too well. And they have strapped us into a budget that allows for no extra headcount. I knew this year was going to be bad when I found out that they wouldn’t even allow room in the budget for the consultant that we were planning on bringing in to help take over some of my work. I still have 3/4 of the fiscal year left to get through, so I’ll have to figure out some way of managing my stress better. I cannot tell you how many years in a row I have stated in my development plan that I need a stress management class. Deaf ears and blind eyes, it all falls upon.

And it all falls back on the fact that I am too hard on myself. I am not satisfied with anything but my absolute best. I am my own worst critic. To be honest, I need to get a little better at not giving a da**. But the reality is that I have a Type A personality. My concern is that I’ve been like this for over 30 years. How do you reverse 30 years worth of behavior? How do you fight who you are at your very core? How do you change that? It seems very daunting at the moment. I think it’s time for me to go back and read my book on cognitive therapy again. The next battle is here.

Posted in Journey to Self-Discovery | 14 Comments

Whooooooops!

Posted on June 26, 2007 by Jenna Magee

I kinda dyed the inside of my microwave purple…

Thanks for everyone’s comments. I tried a few more variations of the cream plus metallic and other things, but it just isn’t working. I’ve already frogged the border that I did last night after posting to test whether or not one row of the cream would show up. The problem with purple is that I already tried every shade of purple made by DMC, Crescent Colours, Dinky Dyes, The Gentle Art, Dragon Floss and Carrie’s Threads. The shade in the fabric is just odd enough that nothing works.

So, since I’m working from home today anyway, I decided to throw the rest of the length of cream silk that I was using into a mini purple dye bath in the microwave. Except I used a plastic cup. And it melted in less than 2 minutes. And there was purple dye running out of the bottom of my closed microwave door. And the inside is now half purple. Oops!

I wrote to Terry in his meeting and asked him to stop at the grocery store on the way home for some bleach-infused cleanser. When I told him what happened, his response was, “We’ll get it out. Or dye the rest of it purple.” It helps to have a level-headed husband when you’re a spaz. 🙂

So, I’ll see what I can do with floss colors, because I really like that fabric. I’m now thinking of a sepia tone to give it that old-fashioned photograph kind of feel. There’s a short vein of a brown-ish color in the fabric that I’m going to try to coordinate with.

Thanks for all of your advice! The frogging wasn’t too bad after all.

Posted in Stitching | 14 Comments