I debated over whether to journal or blog this entry. However, I wanted to make sure that I captured the details while they were fresh in my mind and I can type fast enough to nearly write my stream of consciousness, so here goes. If you think I’m a wierdo, please keep your negative comments to yourself. 😉
I had the most fascinating dream this morning. It may have been partially drug-induced, since I had a migraine building all night and barely slept for all of my tossing and turning, so I finally had to take a Maxalt (the big guns). Or maybe it was just a result of the relief of my mind at finally getting some sleep after the medicine kicked in. Or maybe it had nothing to do with any of that. Regardless, here is my dream, in as much detail as I can possibly muster. If you’re not interested, you can stop here. It may be a bit disjointed, but I’m just going to write as I remember the details without worrying too much about structure. I guess this is more for my benefit than for anyone else’s. 😆
There was a small child involved. Small enough that I could still pick them up and balance them on one hip, but large enough that it was a challenge to do so. I remember being surprised that I had a child because my husband and I aren’t planning to have children. The child was quite afraid of the basement in this house. So was I, as it turned out. Finally, though, the motherly instinct kicked in enough for me to become so angry about whatever was going on in the basement to trigger such fear in my child that I overcame my own fear. The door into the basement was on the outside of the house, approximately centered on one side, the long side. I unlocked the padlock, swung open the latch and opened the door. As I stood at the top of the steps, peering down, my fear started to rise again. The child was behind me, clinging to my legs and hiding somewhat. I think the child was a girl, but part of my mind says that it was initially a boy and may have changed during the course of the dream. I could sense unkind entities lurking down there and the longer I stood, immobilized by my own fear, the bolder they became. They started to come up the set of stairs towards me. I couldn’t actually see anything with my eyes, but my inner vision could distinctly visualize their negative energy growing closer. As they crept closer, I started to become angry. A rather large, lone, blue, 80’s style sneaker appeared in the middle of the stairs. It wasn’t there when I opened the door and I somehow knew that it was a manifestation from these malevolent entities. By the time they reach the middle of the stairs and were crossing the sneaker, my anger had reached the boiling point. I drew in a deep breath and with a powerful bellow, I said, “GET OUT!” The statement was long and carried such a force to it, not in volume but in the sheer power of breath and energy behind it, to force the entities backwards down the stairs and into the basement. I walked down the stairs towards them, alternating phrases like “get out” and “you are not welcome here” as I walked. While not as powerful as my initial statement, each word still carried vehemence and the strength of my conviction. Suddenly, an image popped into my mind as I was talking. I could visualize the drawing of a house, just a simple line drawing, not so simple as a stick figure-like representation, but not so detailed as to look specifically like this house, and yet it clearly represented this house. Around the house was an oval of burning light, almost like fire. It was strong and represented my protection of the house. I focused on the image as I continued to speak and walk across the basement towards the beings as they retreated further and further into the depths. The image then became very important to me. I felt as if I had to devote all of my energy to sustaining the ring of light around the house. At this point, I realized that I was dreaming, and yet the weight and importance of continuing to visualize this image grew stronger. I knew that I had to sustain the image for a certain period of time, regardless of the fact that it was a dream, in order to drive these unkind beings out of the house and keep them from returning. It was imperative that I do so. I repeated the visualization of the house and the ring of light surrounding it approximately 5 times. Then I ran back up the stairs, shut the door, closed the latch and slammed the padlock into place, closing it with a snap and a sense of triumph. I had this feeling that I was intentionally trapping the entities in the basement to be swallowed up, destroyed or otherwise banished by the light that I had created around the house. I don’t like to think that I would have consciously wanted to “kill” the beings, but I’m not sure what the exact result of that action would be. I only know that I had driven them from the house and created a safety net around it that would protect it for some time.
And that’s all I remember. I think the dream may have ended at that point. Some part of me is really excited about having had this dream and wants to share the experience. In fact, I’m waiting for my mom to call me back so that I can relate it to her and see what she thinks. I even kept repeating the sequence of events in my head as I slept further this morning in order to keep the details fresh in my mind and not lose anything. I’m sure I will keep tumbling it through my head and trying to pick out anything that may have been significant. Dr. Steve told me last night that I am much too hard on myself and that I need to care for the little girl inside of me who is still in such pain. Was the child me? Was I protecting myself? I think the house in which I spent the first 11 years of my life had an outside entrance on the side into the basement, in addition to an entrance inside. And, curiously enough, as I scan my memory banks, I cannot find a single recollection of what that basement looked like. I only remember the doors. Could there be something to this dream? Was there something in that basement that I was afraid of as a child? Who knows, but I’ll certainly be thinking about it.
Now I’m going to log off so that I don’t fry my poor, tired eyes and invite the migraine to revisit me after the medication wears off. I hope that all of you stuck in this heat wave stay cool and safe today!
