Tale of a Shooting Star…

Now, one would think that the first time I burnt my legs with my laptop this morning, that would be enough to remind me to use that not-so-cheap heat shielded protector/cushion I bought a year or so ago for my laptop, right? WRONG! I managed to repeat the incident again just a few minutes ago. Darn, these little buggers put out a lot of heat! And with shorts weather upon us with a vengeance, I really feel it when I’m working from home. Quickly. But then, that’s why the industry has tried to back out of using that familiar term laptop. They’re notebooks. Or whatever such word any particular computer maker chooses to employ on any given day. Yes, they are not really meant for use in your lap anymore. It harkens me back to the reports I heard a few months ago about high rates of laptop usage causing fertility problems in men. Yes, ladies, don’t forget that cooking terminology from home ec class. Broiling occurs when you place food in close proximity to a heat source. 😆

Anyway, I guess I was having one of those famed Carlos Mencia “dee dee-dee” moments! As offensive as his content can be at times, you have to admit that he is screamingly funny. Everywhere I go, I see stupid people! But then, it’s easy to overlook my own brief instances of ineptitude, isn’t it? 😉

Oh, and speaking of screamingly funny, check out Suz’s post for the day, entitled Spreading the Joy. I have to admit, I had never heard of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I thought I was going to cry, I thought it was so hysterical. See, that’s what I like about Suz. She’s smart. Damn smart. And I like to read witty, acerbic posts from truly intelligent women. They make me think, they make me laugh and they make me nearly want to weep for the general state of humanity, but most of all, they make me grateful to be a female with a brain. 😀

What can I say? After a night of very poor sleep and a dose of Excedrin around lunchtime, I’m in a very quirky mood…

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.

The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man, “same for me,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “That will be $12.62.” Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say .”

I’m back into the swing of things (mostly) and sitting at work today. My body is quite grumpy and so am I, but I’m here and I’m working, so what more do you want? 😉

The long weekend was fairly crazy for us. It was hot, stormy and busy! My parents arrived Friday evening while I was still finishing my work for the day from home. We went to the grocery store, picked out dinner and some other things we needed, then settled in for the night, watching TV and playing some games. Saturday saw my dad going on a 4 hour trek with me and Terry through the wilds of furniture shopping and a not-so-brief stop at Lowe’s for some paving stones (98 of them, to be exact) and the usual bunch of other stuff that comes along with a visit to the home improvement store. That pretty much shot the day, which didn’t exactly please my mom, since she wasn’t able to go with us, but we accomplished a lot.

Sunday morning, my parents left to go home and Terry and I went outside to do some work. It was very hot and sunny and I thought I was going to pass out after less than an hour in the sun, using a total of 2 gallons of weed killer in a vain attempt to get a handle on our continuing battle against thistle and dandelions. And I haven’t gone back to put down the dandelion killer on the ones scattered about the yard. Terry mowed the lawn while I was dealing death to the weeds. Then we showered and went to a friend’s house to play some computer games, stopping to pick up subs for dinner on the way. We actually ended up watching Date Movie (pretty funny!) and then playing a game.

Monday saw us going to another friend’s house for a holiday get-together of a small (very small) group of close friends. We had fun, but their house is freezing cold, so my shoulders were a tight ball of mess by the time we get home. Hence yesterday morning’s migraine. My shoulders are still stiff today and I have a bit of a headache plus an IBS flare-up, but I’m determined to have a decent day despite it all. I’m thinking of buying some exercise equipment to help me get rid of the little roll of fat I’ve developed below my belly button and to help me achieve my exercise goals on my list of 101 Things. Add that to the weight lifting routine that I would like to start to help with my shoulders and neck and the occasional dance workout and hopefully I’ll start to get back into the shape I was six years ago before I got married, changed my job and started sitting on my butt all day instead of running around helping people and lifting computer equipment. The sedentary work of a computer programmer isn’t exactly conducive to better physical fitness! 😆

That’s my status report and I’m sticking to it. I’m behind on blog reading, as usual, so I probably will sacrifice commenting in the name of catching up. I usually say that and then comment all over the place anyway, but just in case I don’t, you’ve been warned. 😀

3 hours ago, I had a migraine. For once, I decided that I wasn’t going to mess around with any other medications, knowing the characteristics of how I was feeling, and went straight to the heavy duty abortant (Maxalt, for anyone who wants to know). I went to sleep, using my cushy new blindfold (from Dream Essentials, a wonderful site) that blocked out all of the light and let me sleep in peace. Now I’m feeling calm, relaxed and normal, for once. 🙂 However, in the interest of not having to repeat the process, I’m signing off for the day. I’ll catch you all up on the weekend activities tomorrow or sometime later this week.

Happy Independence Day to all of my fellow Americans! And Happy Birthday to our special pup, Phirecracker Phoebe (her AKC registered name), who turns 9 years old today. 😀